Funny...

So I was fixing a hamburger and I was motivated to call Tate.  Not to get back with him or make up with him, but to make sure that we were good.  Ordinarily I would not have cared.  But this was our second go-round.  And we have "history" and I want to maintain friendships.  And sex and all of the other stuff can muddy that up....and it did.

Of course he picked up on the first ring.  I called to just make sure that we were good and I cant lie, I also wanted to make sure that he would be around to help me move.  Don't Judge me.

When we talked and I told him that I wanted to be cool with him even though "it didnt work out."  He said, "what didnt work out?"  I was like, is he tripping?  But the real thing is that I was tripping.  He was treating what I thought was something serious, very casually.  And that was my bad for investing too much, too soon-again.

I told him that I just didnt think that things could go much farther because I wanted to have children and he shared with me one night at dinner that he did not want any more kids.  He then stated that he could no longer have kids.  Time-Out, what?  N@gga you NEVER bothered to tell me that!!  And to make matters worse he kinda went in on the fact that he didnt even think that I wanted to have kids because I was so old.

He tried to do all of this silly talk about how emotionally I was too occupied with my family, business and we were so far away from each other(family is an always and even when I move closer I am still not going to be into you-and your not going to be into me).  I have no problem being in a relationship at anytime when I am into who I am dating, I just didnt want to take the time to get to know him better and THANK GOD I didnt invest more of my emotions!!

On the next dating go-round I will ask what a man wants.  I will tell him what I require and we can meet in the middle.  More my middle than his...this was going to end up a year of bullshit if I didnt cut the strings!!!

Between Dr. Corey Guyton and Alexandra Fox's "How to Play Hard to Get"...I feel sooooo differently about myself.  Its as if I took an immersion class in self-esteem.  Thank You Lord for Truth.

xoxo,
Sharelle